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The Oracle of Austin
Austin, Here I Come The time has come for me to start getting serious about the job search in Austin. Which I have been doing the past few weeks. While I was perusing the online job listings earlier, I...
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Hugging Death Traps
I’m sure you all want to know what it’s like to have a conversation with me. So here is a short conversation I had with my best friend about the fact that I am stuck at work chasing after the hoard of...
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Lizzard thought of the night
Random thought of the night: This time last year I didn’t know who the fuck Robert Rodriguez was. Now I’m making an army of mutant octopi inspired by him. Life is weird.Filed under: Absurdity Is The...
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Do I really need a reason to casually mention Joan Wilder?
Gratuitous image of Kathleen TurnerI want to be Joan Wilder when I grow up. For those wondering, I am not dead yet. Although the germ infested elderly were plotting my demise. Lucky for me they forgot...
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Ghetto Gourmet: We Have a Serious Lack of Pancakes Around Here
I would write another installment of Ghetto Gourmet, but I am too busy thinking about pancakes and the fact that I don’t have any. This lack of pancakes is weighing heavily on my mind. So much so that...
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My Valentine’s Gift To You Is My Own Personal Embarrassment
Since today is Valentine’s Day and everyone is all excited in one way or another over it, I thought I’d share an old (I mean old) online personals ad description of me. I think it still applies....
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Lizzard Wisdom: Word Peeves
Kids, the word is bra, not brawl. Although, my tits do tend to brawl with the wire bondage of my bra. Fuck, nevermind. I guess you’re right. Go ahead and call it a goddamn brawl. Filed under: Absurdity...
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How to meet your idols and eat their chocolate: Part 1
Taken at People of LettersProof that Neil Gaiman is God or possibly Gozer.And Kim Boekbinder is at the very least Zuul. A few nights ago I attended a wonderful event here at SXSW. It was called People...
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Giant Rat Parsons Project
So I had a dream last night that a quartet of giant sewer rats were singing an Alan Parsons Project song to me while I sat in a jazz club sipping on a bright blue drink out of glass shaped like a...
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The Awkward’s Guide to Being Fabulous
Hello, my name is Amy and I walk into walls. Daily. Don’t be alarmed, I’m mostly harmless and incredibly fabulous. Being an oaf does not have to hold you back from being amazing and sexy. In fact,...
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Do Not Squander Your Madness On Petty Things Like Reality: The Smile Challenge
“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You musn’t lose it.” -Robin Williams What is life without a little madness? What is there to take so seriously that we lose our sense of curiosity and...
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Getting Old at the Grocery Store
I went to buy a few things today: milk, ice cream, wine, and Prilosec. I didn’t feel old buying these things. That was until the young girl at the check out looked at my ID and said, “Wow, you don’t...
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So Long And Thanks For All The Converse
A few days ago I received news that my best friend of 23 years had passed away, hopefully peacefully in his sleep. Saying goodbye is the most heart-wrenching thing I’ll ever have to do. I loved him...
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